Runcorked Resolutions

I’m sorry to have fallen off the grid for the last couple (few?) weeks, but I have returned and resolve to get back on schedule for the new year.

A lot has happened since I last blogged:

  • I ran the Ted Corbitt 15K.
    • Quick rundown: It was a Saturday race in NYC, and I could NOT findĀ parking. I almost missed the damn thing and had to run to the start. I then walked in on a guy pooping in a porta-potty… and he wasn’t hovering… Ā he was sitting on the seat and looking comfortable. I almost told him he really should be hovering. And then one mile into the race, some guy in a yellow spandex jumpsuit ripped a world championship fart that sounded like someone playing the trumpet just got kicked in the nut sac. HeĀ stonefaced that shit. Never happened.
  • Work got bananas. Not literal bananas. That would have been nice. Instead, we got a lot of holiday treats… Stress & treats are a dangerous combo, but better at least than stress & samurai swords.
  • I convinced my boyfriend to wear matching Christmas onesies to our friends’ party. I also wore said Christmas onesie on not one, but 2 runs – one of which was on Christmas morning with blinking red and white lights, jingly bells on my shoes and buttloads of Christmas cheer. I really recommend Christmas light viewing runs this time of year!
  • I spent an amazing night in NYC with family & friends, I went to a great dinner and had a delicious home cooked meal. I laughed and loved and exchanged gifts and drank wine until there was no more wine to drink. And then I went out and bought more wine and drank that too.
  • I survived the plague & thenĀ a day later face-plantedĀ on a runĀ (completely sober). I didn’t even know it was possible to hurt your shoulder while running. I think I’ll just not do that again. Running on the pavement is so much more fun that running into.

Besides returning to blogging, my other New Year’s resolutions are:

  • Share less. I hate sharing.
  • Be nicer to people at work. So long as they stop being a bunch of useless window licking mouth breathers.
  • Make sure to eat responsibly sourced food, like hot dogs from America.
  • Floss regularly. My butt or my teeth? I’ll just let that hang there all ambiguous-like.
  • Punch three people with mustaches square in the dick.
  • Beat the system.

See ya next year!

J. Stack


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